Photos by 
Jessicarobyn Keyser
Jessicarobyn Keyser

Adulting Is Hard, but These Green Eggs Are Easy

by 
Tim Brown
April 12, 2021

Adulting is hard.

I’m not asking you to break out the tiny violins for me or anything, but it just is some days, especially when you seem to have no solution to the constant dilemma: “What food am I going to make?” Had I known this would be not just a daily question, but a multiple-times-a-day question, I would have gone into a more lucrative field so I could pay someone else to answer it for me.

When you add children into the mix, like my partner and I (quite questionably) have, it gets even harder because, invariably, what you decide to make is exactly what they decided that moment they don’t want.

You can go the route of having a “capsule meal plan,” which our family kind of has. It’s like a “capsule wardrobe” where you only wear a variation of the same round-robin clothes every week, only it’s with meals. We have staples that repeat every other week or so, but even within those staples I try to find some variety.

Enter: green eggs (ham optional).

I first thought of this tasty creation when I was bombarded with inquiries by my children as to what kind of special breakfast we’d be having for St. Patrick’s Day. That’s another thing they don’t tell you when you become a certified adult: not only will you have to make food every day, but you’ll have to come up with “special” foods for “special” days.

It’s exhausting.

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I could have gone the same old “dye the pancakes green” route (which certainly works), but I came up with this recipe infusing the eggs with a big handful of spinach as a healthier option because, well, humans can’t live off of pancakes alone. (Trust me, I tried in college, and it led to acne and a maple syrup addiction I’m still trying to kick.)

They’re easy to prep and, though good scrambled eggs take some patience to make, are totally worth it. They taste fresh and bright, and feel free to add onions, tomatoes, some hot sauce, or red pepper flakes to jazz it up to your liking.

(Pro-tip: don’t make “green ham”... it is unappetizing to the eye.)

When I first made this delicious dish, I was a little concerned because these eggs, when blended with the spinach, are green. I mean *green*. Like Grinch green. Like fake Easter-grass green. Kids sometimes shy away from unusually hued foods like purple carrots and most beet varieties, but I found my concerns to be totally unfounded. 

My kids loved them. They asked for seconds. My wife loved them. I loved them. In fact, they’ll not only work for Dr. Seuss’s birthday, St. Patrick’s Day, or Easter, they’ll work for any day I want to infuse a little iron into the family meal plan.

I mean, if we’re going to have to dream up food a few times a day, every day, might as well make them vivid and look as fun as they taste, right?

These do.

Kid-Approved Green Eggs (Ham Optional)

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Serves 2

Ingredients

4 eggs

1/2 cup (or 40 g, or a handful) Fifth Season spinach

1-2 tbsp butter (or more depending on your preferences/arteries)

Salt

Pepper

Hot sauce (optional)

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 | 
Serves 2

Ingredients

4 eggs

1/2 cup (or 40 g, or a handful) Fifth Season spinach

1-2 tbsp butter (or more depending on your preferences/arteries)

Salt

Pepper

Hot sauce (optional)

Ingredients

4 eggs

1/2 cup (or 40 g, or a handful) Fifth Season spinach

1-2 tbsp butter (or more depending on your preferences/arteries)

Salt

Pepper

Hot sauce (optional)

Directions

1. Crack those four eggs into a large ceramic bowl. 

2. Throw in the spinach, and push the spinach down into the eggs to make sure they get nice and coated.

3. Using an immersion blender (or if a stand-up blender, pour mixture into the blender in that case), pulse the mixture to break up all the spinach while also scrambling the eggs. Go until it's uniform in color and just a bit frothy. With this recipe, no added liquids are necessary! Season mixture with salt and pepper.

4. Put your frying pan over low heat and throw in half of the butter, coating the pan.

5. When the butter begins to bubble, pour in the egg mixture. Now hang back for a minute. So many scrambled eggs turn out hard and rubbery because people want to cook them too quickly. Good scrambled eggs should, like good Southern grits, take some time. And, like good grits, should be a bit "goopy" (in the words of my sons).

6. Patiently move the mixture back and forth with that spatula. If you're getting ansty, you can move the heat up just a smidge to just above "low," but don't overdo it or you'll overdo the eggs.

7. As the curds start to form, throw in that last half of butter.  The butter actually slows the process just a bit to ensure the scramble remains soft.  Continue to move that spatula back and forth, back and forth, like you're paddling a rowboat.

8. (Optional) When the eggs are just about done, you can throw in some creme fraiche if you want added creaminess, but I don't always do this if the eggs are looking good.

9. Take the pan off the heat and give the eggs one last stir. Plate up and enjoy!

About the Author

Tim Brown

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